Women have this relentless pressure to look perfectly put together, keep their 19-year-old bod forever, and all while being a perfect mother and wife. What is really amazing to me is that men aren’t always the ones putting this pressure on us! We put it on us. We put it on other women with snarky comments like:
“What the heck is she wearing?”
“Have you seen Rachael? She is PACKING it on lately! You wouldn’t even recognize her.”
“Her kids are soooooo out of control. I would never put up with that.”
“She’s a work-a-holic! She never sees her kids.” OR “She has no career motivation.”
It is endless and exhausting…right? So how do you find that balance and do everything right? You don’t. You never will. It has never happened before and you aren’t going to be the first “Perfect Everything.” Get over yourself.
Doesn’t this family look perfect? Yeah…no. Getting ready for this picture was a hot mess involving a lot of tears, mostly from my husband. JK 🙂
Self Care
This term is being used so much lately that it makes me want to vomit. It’s like when your doctor tells you that you really should get rid of stress in your life. “Cool, so do you want my kids, husband, job, college classes, family drama, and housework orrrrr…..”
I currently have 4 mommy bloggers posting this on my newsfeed constantly. To every one of them, it means something else. Self-care, to me, is not going to the gym for my regular hot yoga session. I hate the damn gym! I argue with myself every time I go and no, I am not like, “totally glad I did it afterwards.” Everyone says that garbage and its super cliché. I mostly end up disappointed I didn’t lose 50 lbs after a tough workout. Self-Care for me is not eating clean or spending $300 getting my hair done. If those work for you, that’s awesome. They just do
not fill my cup, make me a better me, or make me feel like that was the best possible way I could have spent my time to make me happy in the long run.
I mean, come on. Real talk here. This is normal life here. Note that I am not wearing make up, because my face keeps breaking out, because it’s shark week. See my husband sick next to me? Yeah, that ish has been moving through my house all week. Also, my cat in the background is the only one that has gotten to enjoy a bench project I started 6 months ago and never finished. I could use some self-care about now.
My Drug
I didn’t always know this about myself and I spent wayyyyy too much money coloring my hair colors I would later regret. It was an accident coming across the realization. Rachael’s recipe for self-care is putting myself into uncomfortable, new, or less fortunate situations. It sounds so stupid right? But hear me out… Because this improved every area those haters could possibly talk smack about me:
- Volunteering abroad “fills my cup.” Call me a selfish volunteer but I think I get more out of it than the people I am serving. Check out my upcoming trip and see for yourself here.
- Next, I came back to work with a totally new perspective on leadership, inspiring people, and making critical decisions. You think your responsibilities are tough? Try deciding between food, diapers, or freedom. Better yet, try helping someone else work through that decision.
- It totally made me a better parent. My kids were just as involved in this, learning about the country I was going to and even learning the languages with me. We made some major lifestyle changes in our house as a result of volunteering abroad, check this out here.
- Also, going across the world into a new place alone makes you feel invincible! Coming home was a piece of cake because now you totally feel like you can do anything. That confidence helped reduce anxiety and nervousness out of historically angsty situations. Mental health yo.
- Did I mention it made me skinnier?? WHOOOO Girl. It did, I lost 10 lbs. I cannot guarantee these results for you but most of the other stuff is a sure thing.
Reinvest in ____________________ (Insert your name here).
I recently saw this speech that said something along the lines of this:
“People are just like trees or grass. If they aren’t growing, they are dying.”
Yes, yes, 1000 times, yes. I think that is totally true. If you aren’t learning new things, experiencing different stuff, or investing in your development, do you really have the right to tell your 4 year old they need to at least TRY the damn broccoli? No. You and that protesting 4 year old are not different in this case.
Check out a new country that has a culture seeming so strange to you. For me, I didn’t know a ton about Asian culture, besides anything Jackie Chan was putting out there on impressionable young Rachael. So I decided to start there. But I’ll be honest, yeah, there were a shit ton of differences, but I was surprised by how many things are exactly the same. Like morals and parenting. Concern for the environment. The same political challenges. There were a lot of parallels, except food. The food was 1 million times better there. Those traditional Thai chefs know what’s up.
Seeing those parallels and understanding their unique challenges teaches you so much! That, my soul sisters, is self-care. That will last longer than your skinny jeans from all that yoga. You are going to hate all pictures of this new hair style in 10 years anyways….
If you want to invest in yourself, invest in areas that will change you forever. Volunteer Abroad Man (I mean woman, whatever). I am looking for some bad ass chicks who want to do something to legitimately do some self-care wizardry while making the world a bit better. If that’s you, reach out or check out this upcoming project here. You can still hop on, you bad-ass you!
